I drive 50 in the fast lane.

Here is a health update because I know you care!!1!

The foods I can eat: baked potato soup, green jello, red jello, mac ‘n chi with BBQ sauce, vanilla frozen yogurt (which is beginning to disgust me), and a tiny portion of the softer foods the family’s eating for dinner cut into tiny, tiny bits.

Foods I cannot eat: Everything else, plus Vicodin.

Yes, that’s right.  The one perk of wisdom-teeth extraction, real, honest-to-betsy narcotic pain relievers, and I can’t take them.  I managed for the first day and half, and damn did the Vicodin help with the pain, but my stomach roiled the whole way.  Then, late Saturday evening, my system gave up.  Vomiting with mouth stitches?  Least favorite thing ever.

So now I am off Vicodin and on Tylenol and Advil alternating, both of which should read “Why Bother” on the label. Stupid stomach.

Soon I will tell you in detail about my kidney stones.  I BET YOU CAN’T WAIT.

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