Health attempt #(embarassing quantity of fails)

This year was bad. Like, really really bad. I’m around 22lbs. heavier than I was last summer. Of course, last summer was the time of dental hell, and so my sudden weight loss was more about me not wanting to eat food because ow mouth pain than any real systemic overhaul of my food/exercise choices. So this summer, I’m trying to get a grip on things.
1) the usual, and the hardest: no drinking. Thanks to Sacha’s car trip exhaustion, I didn’t drink the nights we were roadtripping cross country. Then, after two nights of deprivation, I figured, may as well keep this up. Of course, Sunday is my brother’s 21st, and then we’re off to Vegas to celebrate him, so I imagine this 0 tolerance policy won’t persist. But hopefully I can keep a check on the binge drinking/wicked hangovers. I barely get buzzed anymore, even off shots, and I get a hangover off two beers. Alcohol’s no fun when that’s your baseline. I think I’m over it.
2) exercise. Have been to the gym for two hours every day the past three days. Trying to go daily. I even managed to run for 15 minutes. And there’s a financial stake involved: the parents agreed to cover the one-month membership, but only if I use it 10 times between now and June 25, when I leave for Clarion. I paid for it, and they’ll reimburse me if I succeed. Added incentive not to fail.
3) food. I am trying to minimize carbs, since living three blocks from a French bakery pretty much meant that I’ve lived on croissants and homemade bread for the past eight months. I’ve been cooking in lots (bok choy stir fry, Greek salad) and picking healthy stuffs (salad, gazpacho) when the family goes out.
4) calorie-counting. I’m trying this out for the summer. So far I’ve been a faithful logger of my meals and exercise; again, we’ll see if I can persist.

I miss feeling healthy and connected to my body. In a different place, with different people reinforcing my behavior, maybe I can shape up and stop feeling sick all the time. I’m 29; drinking and eating as the sum total of my social life now just makes me feel curmudgeonly and old, like I’m trying to be someone I’m not anymore–that someone being 21-year-old me. The family’s being super supportive; Mom especially is on a similar path, trying to change her habits as she shifts into sabbatical mode. All in all, a good start. Only time will tell if I have the self-discipline to stick with it.


I am about to see lots of it. Sacha and I are driving cross-country tomorrow, from IL to AZ. Wish us luck, as I am not very keen on cars in light of today’s events. Namely, prophetic dreams are creepy. I woke up this morning after having a dream so vivid I wrote it down (this happens, oh, twice a month or so?). It involved my friend Patty (who I am fairly sure I have never seen cry…maybe once?) sobbing uncontrollably over some unnameable sadness, followed immediately by an elaborate wedding. Woke up this morning to Patty coming over for a goodbye coffee, only to find out she’d witnessed this. Like, she was on the streetcorner across from it–had just had her picture snapped by the photographer. I am grateful that she walked away unharmed, concerned for the victims of the crash, and mildly spooked. Mortality brushes up against us in strange ways.

What the Internet hates.

Namely, food blogging and poochy-lipped Facebook profile pics.  I do not hate these things.  I take a new FB pic whenever my hair changes, because such silliness makes me happy.  And haircuts are so !@#$ing pricey, even the discount ones, that I feel a day of preening is one of the few ways my ego gets to recoup the expense.

People also bitch about food blogging on the Internet, aka “I do not care what you had for dinner.”  But nay, people bitch about EVERYTHING on the Internet; why does this warrant a special note?  Well, I’ve seen more of such bitchery recently, and since this coincides with my desire to discuss everything I’ve had for dinner, some self-justification is in order.  I keep losing track of my recipes, especially the ones I really like.  What else is a blog good for but as a functional Remembral?

Without further ado…I made this. I added mushrooms and threw it over some cilantro-scallion rice, but otherwise I pretty much followed the directions (a rarity).  I also threw together a greek salad but with garbanzos in place of lettuce.  And then I made a giant chocolate sheet cake for the boyfriend’s birthday.  Now I am going to make a batch of mint simple syrup for mojitos, as the mint in my fridge is on the edge of wilt.  Day of yum.


And not the kind where you drink beers, neither.

Two pubs this year, both of which I am pretty damn proud of–my NAPS-winning short play appeared in Thin Air, lit mag of my M.A. program, and then I got a piece in Brevity.

I adore Brevity.  It’s about the best venue out there for flash nonfiction, and last summer I got to take a workshop with its founder, Dinty Moore, and I am just pleased as all get out to see a chunk of the memoir (albeit a very, very tiny chunk) out there in the world.  Brevity, alongside Strange Horizons, has been up there on my list of dream pubs for a while now.

So, today is dream-come-true day.  And later this summer, Clarion.