Slight case of overwhelm.

I have been scarce about these parts and am like to get scarcer.

I’ve been accepted into this for summer 2013.  Am terribly excited and terribly terrified.  Is a tremendous amount of work needs doing between now and June 2, and pages are due to the other seven workshop members by May 15.  Given that my current process involves slamming out a fugly down draft before I can even see what I’ve got, that means an insane amount of words need to get written between now and then.  I’d prefer to nighttime logic a down draft, then outline * what I’ve actually written * instead of murdering any enthusiasm I might have for the project by overthinking it to death.

The good news is, this means that I’ll be using my dissertation leave to the utmost extent.  Can’t imagine I’ll look back at these few months and think, “only two book drafts completed?  What a slacker I was!”  I’ve heard so many stories of people going on diss leave and proceeding to watch All of Television and/or read the Entire Internet, only to turn around and wonder where the time went.  This will not be me.

Although, to be fair, I did just lose two weeks to vacation.

Arizona was too lovely.  James had never been to that part of the country, so we did all the tourist-y things: hiked West Fork in Sedona, Campbell Mesa and Buffalo Park in Flag, a bit of Bright Angel at Grand Canyon.  We tried to hike the Grandview, but the switchbacks looked like this:

IMG_01292

Sheet ice all the way down, so we had to turn back.  Still, I got a shot in the arm of gorgeous nature, which is the one thing I miss about the Southwest, now that home base is Chicago.  I didn’t make it to the gym much what with the perfect weather and the beckoning outdoors.  So yesterday I went down to campus and spun, and my brain felt much less death-y afterward.  Hopeful that part of my vacation-related writing malaise was 1) burnout from the insanity of February production and 2) insufficient exercise.

I did read Bettleheim, Propp, and Kim Stanley Robinsons’s 2312 (which had more aesthetic theory imbedded in it than either of the other two…if it doesn’t win the Hugo it’ll be a crime), so it wasn’t like I got nothing done.  Just less than I’d hoped (as usual).

Have had a small pile of personal rejections accrue on some of my favorite recent story drafts, so I’m feeling a bit low ebb in terms of faith in self and work, nevermind the mental clobbering that was AWP, so getting in to the workshop has been a much-needed pick-me-up in the face of Wall of Failure.  Just keep swimming, Girlwonders.  Just keep swimming.

(This post has an All Caps Thing going.  Sorry about that.)

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